Living With A Husband Hard Of Hearing

By Henry Hughes


As many baby-boomer wives know, marriages face new challenges as couples age. These hurdles are not necessarily more difficult, but they are different. One common problem is coping with a husband hard of hearing. Since hearing loss happens to most people after the age of 75, this changes life for more than half the senior population.

He comes home from a hard day and there's his wife, with dinner almost ready and a pleasant smile. He settles in for his favorite program, cranks up the volume a little (the set is getting old and the sound is not as clear as it once was), and relaxes. Suddenly there is his wife, looking cross and shouting - shouting - that dinner is ready. He doesn't realize that this is the third time she's said this and that she's shouting to be heard over the blaring TV.

He gets up and heads for the table. After grace, he begins to eat - his favorite chicken fried steak! When he looks up for the salt, he sees his wife's lips moving, but doesn't hear a thing. Since he no longer hears high-pitched sounds, which includes female voices, and she's looking down at her plate, he say "What?" She sighs and says, "Nothing."

A wife whose spouse can't hear her may resort to shouting, which most husbands don't like all that much. They may be bewildered when she crossly repeats herself, since they totally missed the first part of the exchange. They may also think that, since they have no trouble hearing their men friends (with deeper voices) the problem lies with her, anyway.

Hopefully both partners want to avoid letting a physical problem derail a happy union. The husband may have to steel himself to getting hearing aids - never as good as natural sound - and having them adjusted until they work well. The wife will have to remember not to talk from the other room, to allow for background noise, and to keep a pleasant expression on her face even as she repeats herself.

There is also surgery, which once used to be performed mostly on children with a lifetime of impairment before them but is now not unusual among seniors. It's really worth investigating what can be done to help your spouse hear things like the grandchildren, general conversations when the family gets together, voices on the phone, and sermons in church.

If you don't face this problem yet, it's still a good idea to get informed. All sorts of illnesses (heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and other circulatory problems) and medications can cause men to lose their hearing. Deafness, they say, is more isolating than blindness, so it's worth protecting your ears early in life and finding solutions to help people hear later.

Specialists, clinics, and professional technicians can provide information and testing to determine the level of loss. It will really help if husbands and wives work together to anticipate this problem and seek solutions.




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